Time. It took me so long to realize that I value it much more than money. I did not connect the dots between time and money until recently, within the last couple of years. I always thought that I needed more money to make it in this world. It was as if money equaled security in my life. But subconsciously, it was time that mattered the most to me. Yet, I would not acknowledge that about myself until much later. Especially with reference to my working days.
Within the past month or so, some of my family members and dear friends have experienced the loss of a loved one(s). My heart goes out to them as nothing quiet prepares us for such an experience. Yet, each one of us will have our own experience with losing loved one(s). I think this is where perception is reality becomes so very true. Having experienced the loss of a loved one myself, I remember thinking and feeling “I didn’t have enough time with them”. I’m not sure that I’ll ever think or feel differently. What I do know is, that experience (with all of the good, the bad, and the ugly commingled together) changed me forever; and it taught me things about myself that I’m just now realizing the lessons I was meant to learn. I cannot imagine loss gets easier as time marches on, but I could be wrong.
Hearing about what my family members and friends are going through, and reflecting upon my own loss, pushes me back to questioning myself about what is important in my life. I can’t help but ask myself thought provoking questions such as:
- When my time is up will I have any regrets?
- If I lost a particular family member tomorrow, would we have parted on good terms?
- How can I better handle loss even though its a part of life?
- What am I doing with my time and is it worth it?
- How do I want to be remembered during the time I spent here?
- Am I making my time count?
As I search for the answers to those questions, I gaze nonchalantly at what is in front of me. Its almost as if the simple act of gazing will help the answers magically come to me. Here is what I get to gaze at:
Needless to say, I’m very fortunate to have this opportunity to look at such beauty while I sort through my lost thoughts. The answers have not magically appeared yet but I will continue to seek and define them for myself. I’m guilty at taking the present moment for granted, as it’s easy for me to look back at what was, and forward at what is to become.
We can never turn back the clock of time and if you’re not careful, time will spend itself. Maybe time heals all wounds. On the other hand, it can make it easier for people to become or stay estranged. I find that the older I get, the faster time flies. Currently, I have the time to focus on various aspects of my life and define what is important to me. Perhaps through this evolving escapades journey, I will learn to stop taking time for granted. I do not have a clue when my time is up, but I do know that I don’t want to be on my death bed listing any regrets. We all have choices in our lives. I chose to take this time for myself and cherish those who are in my life. Life is to short and the time is now.